Not For A Million Dollars: 11 Dog Breeds I Could Never Own

Working for the past three and a half years in a dog daycare will open your eyes to a lot of things. For me it has opened my eyes to the depth of human stupidity, and also to several dog breeds that you could not PAY me to own.

Of course, this is a very subjective subject. My findings are mainly based on the dogs i have come in contact with; many of whom are problem dogs at home who are brought to daycare because it is cheaper than hiring a trainer. Also, many breeds are owned by people who should NOT own a certain breed either because they are too busy/lazy to give the dog what it needs or by just being totally oblivious (see note above about witnessing the depth of human stupidity).

If your breed of choice is on this list and is perfectly well behaved and amazing, that's awesome. I would love to meet him/her.  Truly I know that some of my issues with the dogs below come from ownership issues and not from the breed itself (and in that case i applaud you for being an above average owner).

...but you still couldn't pay me to own one.

So please, do not take the following as a stab in the heart if your breed is listed, ok? :)

Number 1: American Bull Dogs

These dogs are my number 1 pet peeves at work.  99% of them we have severe problems with, mostly because their owners are oblivious to their dog's social problems.

Number 2: Mastiffs (any variety)

Mostly because they are bigger than anything I would ever want to own... and I think they are uuuuugly.

Number 3: Old English Bulldogs

Walking health catastrophes...  I think the thing that pisses me off the most about the breed is how oblivious breeders and owners are to their problems. It's sad.  Also, their facial structures lead to many a dog fight because they can't show normal canine emotions.

Number 4: Boxers

 Lack of self control and inability to play nicely puts this dog on my list.  The fact that my neighbors own a boxer and he is a royal PITA doesn't help their case.  Years ago previous neighbors had a boxer and I loved her... not anymore. Ruined by doggy daycare for me.

Number 5: St. Bernards

Too big and waaay too much drool.

Number 6: Rottweilers

Another dog that was ruined for me.  Another neighbor had a rottie who practically purred she was so sweet. Now I strongly dislike them.

Number 7: Beagles

Cute until they open their mouths, and then I want to rip out their vocal chords.

Number 8: Huskies

My roommate in college had a husky.  Hate them. They are mean, and they almost always bite when you try to touch them or move them, and god forbid you try to take them by the collar.   Lots of dog fights involve huskies at work.

Number 9: German Shepherd Dogs

This one makes me a little sad to include as I love the herding breeds.  With one exception, every single GSD I have met at work has severe mental disorders or anxieties.  This breed is a mental nightmare, and don't get me started on structure... Not to mention they like to run up behind other dogs, grab them by the neck, and drag them to the ground while running full speed.  Drives me NUTS.

Number 10: Doodles (any poodle mix "designer breed")

For being the product of a breeding of an incredibly smart dog (poodles) I am so surprised by how DUMB these dogs are.

Number 11: Golden Retrievers

Another breed that is supposed to be intelligent   I strongly believe that the brains have been completely bred out of this dog.  I need a dog with a brain.

Runner up:  Labrador Retrievers.
Another dog that has suffered from having the brains bred out.  I think I could own a lab, because I know that I would be able to turn his/her mushy brain into something worthwhile and Trophy is half lab... but they are LOW LOW LOW LOW on my list.

Ok... so what dog could you never own?

(Follow up, dogs I must own before I die coming soon!)